i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
