therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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