I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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