Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
