well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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