i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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