i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
