do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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