stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
