At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
