is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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