I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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