If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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