What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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