sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
