We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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