I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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