Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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