is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
