she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
