i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
