trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You may now shotgun with the bride
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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