Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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