I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize