i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
