Kiss
Puke
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
