It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
