And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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