While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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