I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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