I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
