My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
