I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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