whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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