we're blogging at a bar
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
