you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When did angry sex become our thing?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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