Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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