i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
