I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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