I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
