it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
