Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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