No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm passing your future prison.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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