Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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