By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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