Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
