Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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