I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
