How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
