apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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