its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
