I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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