So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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