I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
