I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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