I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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