I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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